WORKING TOGETHER

 

The relationship with your counsellor, your therapist, is all important

 

There are over 450 therapeutic approaches so it can be difficult to be sure that the approach a counsellor uses is the right one for you.

 

Whichever approach a therapist uses, all the research evidence suggests that what is going to be the most important factor in successful working together is how you feel about the relationship with them. If the relationship feels comfortable for you and you feel that you are able to trust them, then it is much more likely that any work that you do is going to be effective.

 

It is important to feel comfortable with your therapist, as this allows for open and honest communication. Trust is an important factor in the therapist-client relationship, as individuals need to feel confident that their therapist has their best interests in mind and will keep their information confidential.

 

While the therapist-client relationship is a professional one, it can still be a meaningful and supportive one. Over time, you may develop a sense of closeness with your therapist as you work through personal issues and gain insight into your thoughts and behaviors. However, it's important to remember that the relationship is still a professional one, and your therapist's role is to help you achieve your goals and improve your mental health.

 

All sorts of factors will influence your relationship with your therapist, some of which you will be aware of and some of which you won’t.

 

For example, if your counsellor looks a little like the boss who might be bullying you or somebody you knew in the past who gave you a bad time, then even at the first meeting you may have some unconscious sense of this leaving you feeling uneasy and dis-inclined towards your counsellor, probably not even knowing why.

 

It’s quite natural to feel like this. When we first meet people we have to make a quick judgment about whether they are likely to be of danger to us before it’s too late. It doesn’t mean that you are a judgmental person, rather it’s the result of millions of years of evolution and it's an ability that's keeps us safe and alive.  Sometimes our initial judgment is wrong but that's acceptable; we're still alive and physically and emotionally safe.

 

If you do have the feeling and you can be aware of it, if you can ‘catch’ it, then you can take the power away from it and your relationship with your counsellor can begin to feel comfortable and it needn’t be a problem.

 

I believe that it’s important that you have the opportunity to check out how you’d feel about working with me and about my approach without committing your time and money before you are ready.

 

To make it easier for you to do this, I offer a free initial session of 30 minutes. If, during this time, you don’t get the right feelings then of course you are free to leave. You don’t have to explain why and you don’t have to pay anything.

 

If you decide to stay for the full 50 minutes then I will charge you the full fee for my time but it’s also okay just to have the initial 30 minutes and then come back for further paid sessions. You can choose.

 

At the end of our first meeting you can choose to book another appointment, you can choose not to, or you can choose to think about it and let me know.

 

Whatever you choose is fine with me.